Let's talk about: 2011!

I celebrated the end of 2011 by watching a "Roseanne" marathon on TV and falling asleep at 10PM after half a glass of rum and diet coke.  My night shared a depressing similarity with almost every other night of my life.  I also filled out this end of year questionnaire and will post it today to keep on top of my resolution to blog more frequently!  Talking about my life on a daily basis might be the first resolution I have the ability to keep!

1.  What did you do in 2011 that you'd never done before? 

I wrote a musical.  I took singing lessons.

2.  Did you keep your New Years' Resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

I make the same resolutions every year and give up on them within a few days.  My only resolution for this year is to be kind to myself in every way and in everything I do.

3.  Did anyone close to you give birth?

None of my close friends are pregnant or have children.  I think that's probably why we're friends.

4.  Did anyone close to you die?

My grandfather passed away in February.

5.  What countries did you visit?

Canada, the United States, Great  Britain, Germany, Italy, Austria, and Slovenia.  Traveling on a budget is one of the few things I'm good at.

6.  What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

Mindfulness.

7.  What date from 211 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

On May 29th, I was alone in London.  I had nothing to do, nowhere to go, and nobody to visit.  I felt very lonely and lost and spent most of the day crying in my hotel room.  In the late afternoon, I mustered up the energy to go for a walk.  I walked aimlessly for hours and ended up near the Tower of London.  I sat on a bench and watched the sun set, wondering how I could feel so lonely while being surrounded by so many people.  I noticed a group beginning to form and it turned out to be a 'Jack the Ripper' walking tour.  On a whim, I decided to tag along, and saw many parts of London that I would have otherwise never seen, either because they were off the radar or because I was too afraid.  We walked down Brick Lane, shortly after the market closed, and I instantly began to feel more at peace and more connected.  As I walked through the crowded streets, I literally ran into a familiar face, British actresses Hayley Atwell.  We both smiled and apologized and went our separate ways, but from that moment on, I somehow felt less alone.  It was such a simple day with nothing particularly special about it, but I always think about it when I feel particularly sad.  It reminds me that life is constantly changing, for better or for worse, and that all we can really do is learn to go with it and make the best of things.

8.  What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I applied and was accepted to both law school and graduate school for playwriting, two things I thought were so far beyond my reach that it was almost a joke to apply.  I also produced, director, composed the music for, and performed in a musical over the summer.  I certainly never expected something like that to happen.

9.  What was your biggest failure?

Emotionally, my biggest failure was letting other people bully and manipulate me and not being assertive enough to stop it.  In terms of life events, I moved to New York City for school but moved back home after only a few weeks because I was having severe and very frequent panic attacks.  I try not to look at either thing as a failure, though, because I learned a lot from each situation and am confident I am going in to the new year with a little more strength and a lot more wisdom.  Failure is the best teacher, as they say.

10.  Did you suffer illness or injury?

My nonstop allergies were again the most dependable aspect of my health.  They especially flourished during the summer months, where it got so extreme that I began having asthma attacks again after a 10 year hiatus.  Other than that, I've had the occasional cold and my regular issues with low blood pressure.  My immune system is working a little too well these days.

11.  What was the best thing you bought?

In London, on a whim, I bought a ticket to go see "In A Forest, Dark and Deep", a play by Neil LaBute.  The show meant a lot to me and really stuck with me afterwards.  I gave myself a high five for that decision.

12.  Whose behaviour merited celebration?

I like to think that everyone is trying their best and has good intentions.  I'm seriously that optimistic.

13.  Whose behaviour made you appalled?

Nothing anyone does could possibly surprise me.  I'm seriously that cynical.

14.  Where did most of your money go?

Health care expenses!  Now that I'm 25, I'm not covered under my family's health care plan anymore and have to pay for all that jazz myself.  It's unfortunate because I don't plan on becoming a mature adult until I'm at least 30.

15.  What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Keanu Reeves.  Everyone is underestimating him!  

16.  What song will always remind you of 2011?

"Born this Way" by Lady Gaga and "In the Corner Dunce" by Aleka's Attic.

17.  Compared to this time last year, are you:

i. Happier or sadder?  Happier.  Because I'm back on anti-depressants!  Nothing can bring me down!  Whoo!

ii.  Thinner or fatter?  I think I weigh more but I'm a smaller size.  Thanks, strength training!

iii. Richer or poorer? Poorer.  I quit my full-time job so I could go to school for creative writing, thus ensuring a lifetime of poverty.

18.  What do you wish you'd done more of?

The things I enjoy.

19.  What do you wish you'd done less of?

Worrying and hating myself.

20.  How did you spend Christmas?

I spent it at home watching movies ("Gone with the Wind"), reading books ("Tender is the Night"), and drinking a lot of diet pepsi.

21.   Who did you spend the most time on the phone with in 2011?

My parents, I guess.  I rarely use the phone.

22.  Did you fall in love in 2011?

A whole bunch of times.  I have so many soul-mates.

23.  How many one-night stands?

None.  I always start every date with a strong "You know we're going to be together forever, right?"

24.  What was your favorite TV program?

For current shows, I really enjoyed "The Borgias".  For old shows that I never got around to watching at the time, I watched the entirety of "LOST" early in the year and it was the best three weeks of my year. 

25.  Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No hate.

26.  What was the best book you read?

This wasn't the best year for books in my world.  I mostly re-read some of my old favourites, including Nabokov's "Lolita" and "Brideshead Revisited" by Evelyn Waugh.  I also read a non-fiction book by Temple Grandin about animal welfare and autism.  I test solidly in the middle of the autism spectrum and am very passionate about animal welfare, so thus I am a very, very big fan of this lady.

27.  What was your greatest musical discovery?

I tend to stick close to my classic rock favourites, but this year I listened to quite a bit of Laura Marling, Mumford & Sons, and The Decemberists.  I did this all while drinking tea and wearing Buddy Holly glasses, too, so assume what you will.  I also spent a few months listening to a lot of Dogstar and Aleka's Attic. 

28.  What did you want and get?

A second chance.

29.  What did you want and not get?

An unlimited about of money so I could create a non-profit lab that would synthesize medications and distribute them to the people who need them regardless of location or income.  Dare to dream.

30.  What was your favourite film of this year?

"Martha Marcy May Marlene" and "Drive" are the two that stick with me the most.  Both were gorgeous and I wouldn't change a thing about them.

31.  What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Knowing me, I probably spent my birthday alone and saw a movie.  I turned 25.

32.  What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Not being so hard on myself and learning to live in the moment.

33.  How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?

Dresses, tights, leggings, boots, big sweaters, pretty scarves, and fancy hats.

34.  What kept you sane?

Meditation, swimming, and the words and wisdom of both friends and strangers.

35.  Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

A new love and respect for Keanu Reeves, my Canadian hockey playing buddha buddy, and a renewed appreciation for River Phoenix, my spirit animal.

36.  What political issue stirred you the most?

Don't Ask Don't Tell.  Don't even get me started.

37.  Who did you miss?

I don't miss people so much as I miss moments.  I miss a lot of moments.  I'm grateful for a lot of moments.

38.  Who was the best new person you met?

David Tennant.  He liked my hair.  The Doctor likes my hair.  That's going to keep my self-esteem up for at least another 6 months.

39.  Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.

"What we think, we become."

40.  Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.

"How many times have you heard someone say,
"If I had money, I would do things my way."
But little they know, that it's so hard to find
one rich man in ten, with a satisfied mind.

Money can't buy back all your youth when you're old,
a friend when you're lonely, or peace to your soul.
The wealthiest person, is a pauper at times
compared to the man with a satisfied mind.

When my life is over and my time has run out,
my friends and my loved ones, I will leave there's no doubt.
But one thing's for certain, when it comes my time,
I'll leave this old world with a satisfied mind."

- Jeff Buckley, "Satisfied Mind"